Grandma

My grandmother passed away yesterday afternoon.

Nine days shy of her 93rd birthday, she had a long and fruitful life, but it’s still hard to let go of someone you cared so much for and who has had a great impact on who you are as a person.

Grandma was a great cook, caregiver, disiciplinarian, and friend. She was an avid churchgoer who often went out of her way to help other people.

I can remember a time at her house in High Point when I was young, seeing a total stranger come up to the house and knock on the door. Grandma answered the door, talked to the man for a minute, then walked off leaving me and him standing there. I must have been about 6 or 7 at the time but I can still remember him looking real dirty and with a scraggly beard.

A few minutes later Grandma came back and handed the man a couple of sandwiches she had made and a big glass of milk. He sat down on the front porch steps and proceeded to eat then he got up and left.

I asked Grandma who that was and she said she didn’t know. I asked her why she was giving him sandwiches and her answer has always stuck in my mind.

“Because he was hungry.”

That’s the way Grandma was. Whatever she had she was willing to share it with someone in need. I don’t know if it was just out of the goodness of her heart, or if she was trying to set an example, but it instilled in me that there are less fortunate people that do need help.

She also took care of my Grandfather who had Charcot Marie disease coupled with essential tremors. He also had a stroke a few years before he died, but there she was, always by his side and tending to his every need. Truly for better or worse. I think they were married about 65 years when Grandpa died.

As for the discipline part, Grandma would tear your butt up in a heartbeat. My sisters and I both learned that real quick. We learned right from wrong the old-fashioned way.

I went with Grandma and Grandpa to the Ellington family reunion in Oregon Hill when I was about 9 or 10. I don’t remember what happened but I do remember Grandma slapping me in the mouth and proceeding to get in Grandpa’s face.

Apparently I’d said “Good God Almighty” and she had heard me. She slapped me for it and then chastised Grandpa for saying it in front of me where I’d pick it up. That was Grandpa’s favorite saying when he was upset. Needless to say I didn’t say that anymore, at least not where she could hear me.

What can I say about Grandma’s cooking?

I used to go over and keep their yard mowed since Grandpa was unable, and she would always cook dinner for me and Jr. Jr always wanted to go help me because he knew that Grandma was cooking. He couldn’t do a lot being 6 yrs old, but he sure could eat. After Grandpa died he did get old enough to ride the mower and was there almost every time I mowed, just for the food.

My favorite dish was her chicken pie. Home made crust. Juicy. Cooked to perfection. I could eat a half one by myself and she made BIG chicken pies.

I haven’t found anyone, my mother, sisters, ex wife included, that could cook like Grandma. Probably never will. But they try and it is good. Just not Grandma’s.

It’s been tough on Grandma the past 12 years, but her and Grandpa are back together again. Probably doing the Charleston on a cloud somewhere watching over the family down here.

I know Heaven is a better place with you there. You are in a better place and the place you worked your whole life to get to. You suffer no more.

Grandma, I love you and miss you terribly. I will see you again………………..

keep a chicken pie in the oven for me.




When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die the world cries and you rejoice.
- Old Indian Saying